evaluation

I do not know why always I am so tired. I have many reasons to be tired. It is hot, humid, hazy - these are the geophysical reasons. It is sometimes silly and self-defeating to be teaching in such a sterile way - these are the metaphysical reasons. I am thinking of evaluation and assessment. So I call up Kapten Hokk.

Surprise! He is talking to me about evaluation. He is really angry about how evaluation at his school does not evaluate what it claims to evaluate. Especially, he hates having his file checked because it has nothing to do with how well his students do. File checked? I ask him what is that. He says that he has to submit his file to higher authorities for checking every fortnight. I am stunned. I think this, it is a Fascist thing to do. It is like Danmark during the War. Vidkun's children are here too.

But maybe is for good reason. So I ask him, "Is it that you are having your annual evaluation?"

He replies, "WHAAAAAT annual evaluation? You go into office, are you happy, how many periods do you have in one week, what do you want to do next year, ten minutes, out. Rest of the time is people making opinion of you based on whether you get angry with stupid people or not."

I am not sure he is joking or not. So I ask, "That is your annual interview but not evaluation, yes?"

He says, now he is turning a bit purple-brown, like that funny fruit with the sour pulp, "Is same thing! In fact you can whole year do good things and if you offend one person, it is zzzzhtttttt!"

Oh, maybe it is like Soviet Russia. Or Suomi during the War. Ho ho. I decide to talk to him more privately. Dear friends, I shall let you imagine the rest. If there is anything I can tell you, I promise I will not take too long to be blogging again.

swiss knife

Hello. I am not dead yet! I am alive still, but I am busy. Funny to find in this Ost-Asia, a custom called preliminary examination, in which the young of the species is tortured one extra time before the real examinations. It is supposed to be confidence-making for them. So they make a very hard examination (which I am setting questions for) and then when the young are quite embarrassed, they add imaginary marks to make it better. So the young are getting embarrassed and then encouraged, this is the theory. But this is not about why I am busy.

Today I am talking to the Alchemist. Here is part of conversation. I am asking him about his new job.

"So you are now Head of Production Science (HoPS)?"

"Yes, it's a new thing and the Ministry is very hot about it."

"Are you a trained Production Science teacher expert or whatever?"

"No. I'm not."

"So why they make you in charge of this?"

"They say I'm very flexible. I can do anything. So I'm in charge now."

"But do you know anything about it?"

"No. But I'm learning very quickly."

"That is good, my friend. See, they are teaching you new things."

"No. I'm picking this upon my own. I buy my own books, and learn what seems best."

"What? Are they not giving you the training, or the course of instruction?"

"No. But I'm confident we can have a Production Science Exhibition early next year."

Ah, my friend the Alchemist. He is a Swiss knife among men, a flexible tool with many uses. Also scholar and gentleman. But not so good at officer. Why? Because he is actually not happy to make people do work he cannot do himself. Ho ho.

aggraveterinary authority

I am now more amused even though I am very tired. As usual, I am sitting around after dinner at the Kopi Tiam (aha, now I can even spell it rightly) with unnamed people. Then one of them makes a mention of AVA, which is apparently the body of the government that is interested in mad cows and bird influenza and cat scratchings and so on.

So I ask him, "What is AVA?" And he says to me, "... ... ..." which I interpret is as above, in my title for this post. He laughs. If he had steel hand, he would be flailing it around dangerously to us who are sitting around him. I ask him why so funny, he says it should be agri(culture), not aggra(vation). He says, what you say, is like saying, 'authority that causes irritation by animals such as cows and pigs and dogs and so on'.

So we rest of us ask him, what do you mean? And he says, we have many animals. Some are like giraffes, they can see very far and get the high leaves, but they can only talk to other giraffes, nobody else listens to them. Some are cows, all they think of is sore udders and the time to milk things. Some are pigs, they wallow around eat everything and grunt. Some are dogs, they hunt in packs and the rest of the time act innocent and helpful. Some are hippo. Some are rhino. Some are tasmanian fruitbat. And so on. He is describing menagerie, what people call 'zoo'.

It is very exciting conversation. Especially when other friend says, haha, I am the Tasmanian Fruit Bat. I am alarmed. I ask him why. He says, TFB is supposed to eat its weight in fruit and still can fly. But is a legend, is no such animal. I get the joke. Other friend is like that, he speaks in riddles all the time, but still can fly. Even without wings. What an animal!

doppelgang

Yes, it is German I am speaking today.

Funny, but a young lady is coming up to see me and she says, "Encik Nielsen, you have another blog which is not like you at all!"

I am surprised anyone is seeing my other blog, which is in the Danish language (and some people, they think it is Swedish - some people...) and is not easily to be found. So I ask her, "Maria, where is this blog?"

She says, "Cikgu, it is xxxxxxxx.blogspot.com, yah? It is very not like you but it is you, my friend Karinn said."

I have been learning other languages too. So I say, "Alamak, that one, he is really not me!"

But it troubles me. The Alchemist is not like me at all, but he said people thought I was him, and now I am hearing I am like him too. So I walk away after some not so big talk and I wonder. I think it is because we are both marginal Hokkien speakers and not quite working in our home culture, but good at pretending it is not so bad.

For a short while, I am being resentful about having to be compared with him. But then I realise he was OK when he is compared to me, so I should be OK too. So I am OK. But I am not Kapten Hokk, or Major Anonym, or Der Alchemist.

alchemy

Today is very funny. After his school is over, the Alchemist has traditional Hokkien meal with me, including strong black coffee, no sugar, no anything (in fact I think when they see him, they put extra rubber tyres). He is not happy. He says, "Eh, Bjaerni, you've been mentioning me in your blog as if I'm a real person. I've already been busted once." (At least, I think he said he is busted once; I do not think he said he is a bastard once.)

The funny thing is that in this place, it is not freedom of speech is guaranteed. Of course, civilized society is able to protect with libel law and defamation and so on, but in this Ost-Asian kingship, is intimidation used against public. So I am careful not to name the Alchemist. He has trouble enough. Nevermind, he brings a lawyer with him. Lawyer is a lady lawyer. O-ho, says I.

Slim girl, a bit on dark side. Like Darth Vader with special health spa treatment. She says, "I asked Alchemist to allow himself to be sacked. We could have claimed damages for the public statements made about him, and also the wrongful dismissal, and also..." (I must confess that I did not hear it all, because I am not a legal mind.)

"...but he is a loyalist, silly friend of mine he is..." (I am sure she did not exactly say this way, but it was something like that, maybe she said 'royalist'.)

"...and so, he chose to stay and keep quiet and be a good boy."

I laughed. Can you imagine, my friends in CA and also in DK, if such a thing could happen anywhere else but in Ost-Asia? I said to them both, you are very Chinese. And Alchemist laughs like a maniac and says it is first time anyone said that to him.

Lady lawyer, she says, "I am only half Chinese." She says that very seriously. I am beginning to think I am imagining both of them. Maybe I am actually all along sleeping in Aarhus.