catalog

I am in school again after a weekend with Georgios in Kuching. It is a funny place, old and new and somewhat skewed. My friend Georgios (not his real name) he says he was a real gangster in the days before he became a teacher. Georgios is surprised to know I am a friend of Kapten Hokk. He knows Kapten Hokk for ten years. I am also surprised.

One thing great I have discovered is pepper of Sarawak. Funny thing is, I tell Kapten Hokk and he is suddenly very amused. He says, young Shivannah would be most interested, ha ha. I ask him, who is young Shivannah? He laughs and says, the Alchemist's apprentice. I do not know what is so funny, but I will ask the Alchemist when I next meet him.

Back to Kuching. I am thinking actually of cats, because they say Kuching is a city of cats. I feel a little odd. It is like Kjøbmandehavn in spirit, but it is not quite a city, and there are not so many cats as there should be. In fact, I end up more thinking of François Rabelais. Why? Because of the funny things I see there. To you my reader, if you have not read Rabelais, you must - he is an expert at making funny catalogs while mourning and mocking human condition of souls. And that is what Kuching is about.

commiseration

I am speaking to Kapten Hokk when the man hangs his head in despair. I am shocked. It is almost literally a hanging of head. He goes slack and I almost have to catch him under the chin. (No, not Premierløjtnant Chin.) He is slack-jawed and laughing and unhappy all at once. So I feed him the spirit of the grain and try again. And he tells me a story.

Once upon a time, in an East Asian Tiger Economy, an educational bureaucrat actually has quite good an idea. He thinks of enhancing teacher appraisal with something almost is like a criterion-based system. (I like this kind of system. Is more fair.) So the system is given to the schools, and all are quite happy. But friend Hokk continues, in his school, the Big Hokkien Boss left it to the Aunties to run. And the Aunties, they have made a mess of it and all the appraisals are wrongly done. So is stupid. And worse, is silly. He rambles on about how the Sister-In-Law came to make right the situation, but was not well-received.

I am sad for him. He is quite clever you know. So I pray to Hegel and Kant for the sake of his mind. I even recite part of the gospel of St Marx. I am about to Kierkegaard him, when he growls at me. He is not having any of it, he says, "Don't mock me." I see he is serious, so I leave him alone and ask myself, "How come a good school can have such behaviours in it?"

effluent

Ah, I am in an effluent society, I discovered. One of my students said so. Then I realised that here the vowels are shorter, like sunlight in winter. But yet, is true! So much effluvium.

I hear that Kapten Hokk is discouraged. Courage, my kaptajn! There are always people who are less competent than you want them to be. Do not ask for too much in life. You have a Hokkien boss! That is almost always a good thing! At the same time, it is funny to hear what your boss says in public. Sometimes I see the Southern Channel Daily, and I cringe. What a life you must have. Does he ever consult anyone except the five ladies of his demesne? Well, you can always talk to Anonym and friends.

Remember, my friend, "In actis est volucris, nec aspera terrent!"

emeritus

IBO director-general emeritus, George Walker is a true educator. Kapten Hokk introduced me to his blog. I am surprised to see such a wonderful man at such a high level of education, he is interested in education for the world and not just what he thinks. Major Anonym, his principal strikes me as opposite: a person not so interested in the world but in his own idea of what it should be. If I had right of it, I would make Professor Walker an honorary Hokkien. He is better than many real ones.

But I am not one, so I should maybe shut up before I get kongsi-ed to death.

westland

They call it Westland on some of those hidden maps. It is a small peninsula dangling in the cleft between Pacific and Indian Oceans. I have had adventures there with my students of past times. I think it is very wet, and climbing short but steep mountains in monsoon weather has effect of making me feel more aquatic than Kapten Hokk.

The Hokk was clever, he didn't go this year. But Major Anonym was there, and not so very happy about it. I compared my experience there with his. I had much better time there, when I went it was actually dry and warm compared to his adventure. I am lucky. I invite them all to Danmark, where life is afjordable. Hah! I also can pun, Kapten Hokk!

fatigue

Ost-Asia is a very busy place. I am feeling very tired. The kids, they are full of energy and very capable. But something is missing, I think. They take in much data, they give out many good ideas. But there is lack of incubation. The ideas are half-formed, the implications they are not worked out much. It is very hard to teach humanities here.

But this is not only a difficulty. It is also a challenge. And my friends, Kapten Hokk and Major Anonym (good name, this one), are very encouraging. They understand not all schools here are like theirs. And they tell me their school is also like mine anyway. So it is good. We sit around and drink Spanish wine and think of how the world is now a small small place, much to be protected.

The other day, the Kapten (funny, sounds silly to call him Kaptajn) said something from Chesterton, "The hidden room in Man's house where God sits all the year/The secret window whence the world looks small and very dear..." I think this is the essence of the humanities, is the heart of it. That is the thought that makes us put on our fatigues and go to war in the classroom.

Oh yes, we are sitting in the hawkers' centre today. Then along comes little boy who makes noise at big hawker. Hawker is about maybe thirty years old, curly hair and thick eyebrows. He says to the boy, "Kann..." (insert famous Hokkien obscenity). Then he is quite shocked, this barbarian and his two Chinese friends all laugh very loudly. Major says, "He's read your blog."

danish pastiche

Today I had been having a good laugh with my science-Hokkien friend. I will call him Kapten Hokk. He likes that, I think.

It is apparently that one of his students at the school where he works came up to him and said, "Bjaerni Nielsen is you!" I am eating in the koppë thiåm with him and I snort koppë-ø-kau (the black strong and very sweet version) up one nostril by accident. He gives me a dirty look. I say, well, I am not like you at all, so why do you think your student thinks so?

He says, "Because you keep quoting me. And worse, I have talks with you about language blah blah blah..." He goes on to say that I should blog less about what he says as it might get him into trouble. I keep forgetting this is an Ost-Asian police state. Everyone is suspicious, including the students.

So I ask him, why do your students inform on you? He is very excited at this and says, "No, no, they are good boys. It is the adults you must watch out for." Well, I am happy, Kapten Hokk, for you know the truth. And truth will set free, yes?

Oh yes, for my Fascist friend who is interested in languages, look at some eBooks in my mother's tongue.